ORCHID’S CURSE Video Release Party with special guest: BLACK MOOR & EAR TO EAR
Saturday, May 25th @ Michael’s Bar & Grill Doors: 10pm / Cover: $10
Join us for the release of our new music video ‘If We’re Divine‘
Written, Edited & Directed by Colin MacDonald (Foster Ave Productions)
For those of you (un)lucky enough to be following our twitter, you may have noticed during our Bogus Journey Tour we started tweeting and compiling some quotes under the hashtag #tourquotes.
To make the hilarity of our (mostly) inside jokes easier for your to access we have listed these quotes below for your reading pleasuring. Stay tuned for more quotes when we head out this week for a few dates with 3 Inches of Blood and Goatwhore. (Dates here)
“I think I’m getting morning wood now”
“You don’t even have ‘I like girls daily’?, what are you even doing on twitter?”
“This is a good looking orgy”
“You guys gotta eat these chips QUICK”
“I hope they have understanding bosses”
“Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone!”
“WE’RE GONNA FUCKING DIE!”
“Do you need a driving glove?”
“I’m all for privacy, but do you really need a door on the urinal?”
“You can always count on the random kindness of a stranger, that you’re paying”
“Yeah I spent a week here one day”
“But at least we are all together…”
“Did you ever notice in the 80′s that girls bums were longer than they are now?”
“Anyone else get the impression they might have been videotaped in that bathroom?”
“The real question is “how much longer till this alternator gets here?”
“It’s called the Huckin Unit!”
“In soviet russia, FUCK YOU”
“Take out your aggression on the floor space next to the coffee maker”
“Sweet American Eagle Jeans and Chris Angel shirts bro!”
“I remembered when I was in grade 8 and got suspended for the day for showing off my pubes”
“You know what’s awesome? Sleeping like a gorilla!”
“I’d trade them all for a hand phaser or a good solid club”
“Dude, I got a full on robot chubby”
“I wish I was a cat so I could headbutt people and they’d find it adorable”
“Things only get frencher from here…”
“I wonder where I’m gonna rub one out first?”
“WHAT DO ALL THESE ROAD SIGNS SAY?!?”
“How do you say mafia in French?”
“Remember that time we got dropped off the back of a flatbed truck?”
“I’m not that hungry guys, I think I swallowed a june bug awhile back”
“What do we look like? Chumba Wumba?”
“Guess where I am? On the second floor of a Harvey’s, eating a burger”
“Yeah, I said, you got some foul balls!”
“You could be Ernie and I could be Bert”
“Jesus! It smells like methane gas in here. But at least the toilet seat is warm!”
“I almost picked scissors at the last minute”
“What the hell, do you have Cyril Sneer in a leg lock?!”
“What are you the Simon Cowel of stripper judging?”
“I’m kind of anal when it comes to toilet paper”
“You can use your sleeve for your nose, but not for your ass”
“Does anybody speak Thailand”
“We’re about to go into hell”
“Toss me a ninja orange”
“How many times do I have to tell you, here’s the ball, it’s in your court!”
“It’s amazing how much better whiskey makes Tim Hortons coffee”
“I stabbed him in the eye with a shellfish”
“Oh he’s talking about Van Halen, it’s that time of night”
“I like Michael Anthony, he’s looked like he was a band dad since he was 15″
“Subway and Tim Hortons. Both great places to poop”
“I’ve got masturbation withdrawal”
“Seriously if someone bumps into me now, I might just go off!”
“UNREAL”
“You can always trust a guy with a death t-shirt and doc martins”
“I can’t believe we are discussing grammar at a metal show”
What’s Keith’s last name, Maureen?”
“Had the best bath in a guys sink this morning”
“Brian don’t smoke weed, but he shows up with a grinder and papers”
“Well it’s nothing this big giant beer can’t fix”
“We are trying to get drunk here, what do you want?”
“the inside of that toilet looks like a baby eating chocolate cake”
“I’d give ya the shirt off my back, but most of the time, I’m not wearing a shirt”
“Fuck store Sally”
“Those wangs weren’t very saucy at all”
“I don’t care how you do it Tetris, Bejewelled, just put it in there!”
“I think Vanny Tanner is angry at us”
“You’d have to be a sword swallower to do that!”
“That’s like saying that the best part of the movie Ghostbusters was Walter Peck”
“Who likes the bunny rabbit from the ninja turtles?!”
Day 10: Charlottetown
After our stellar time in Moncton trying to win dildo(es)? and spending sometime with our buds in The Motorleague, Iron Giant, Konjurer, and of course Biipiigwan, it was time to hit the road yet again. We figure that since we are so close to home, it’s time to retire ol Vanny Devito, and we would head to Charlottetown in 2 very safe and working cars. So after dropping the van off, we load the gear in the cars and head to Charlottetown.
After all of the van troubles, long drives, late nights, and playing shows like every show was sold out; most of us were completely exhausted.We caffeinate ourselves and have some eats and prepare for the evening.
First up for Charlottetown was UNCLE. They are a power violence duo which reminded me alot of fuck the facts, definitely a great band worth checking out.
If any of you reading this know Baba’s lounge, you will know how small it is and how intimate you get with the bands playing. When BIIPIIGWAN hit the stage, and fears of them crashing through the floor were fresh in our heads. But as always, they completely destroyed the place and whipped the crowd into frenzy.
Its really hard to play after BIIPIIGWAN because they are so awesome, so the pressure is on to stand up to that performance and please our maritime fans. We played well with a sweaty blend of tunes from WORDS and we also broke out the workhorse for those who wanted to hear it.
We finished the night at our brother Dans (Death Valley Driver) with a few brews and some electric lettuce. It’s time to hit the hay, because the next stop is…….HOME!!!!
Day 11: HALIFAX
We are home. No more Vanny Glover. No more sleeping on floors, or couches, we get to eat real food, and sleep in our real beds. As awesome as it sounds we are all very sad that this is the last day of tour. But hey, at least it is home and we know that the crazy haligonians will be happy to see us again. We get to Gus’s pub, we have some Ace burgers (seriously have one if you haven’t already, easily the best burgers in town) and start lugging gear. (As an added bonus there were also Unicorn and Zombie shaped shortbread cookies provided by Chester from Ear to Ear!)
This is a spectacular show. the line up is a solid line up of some of the best talent in the city, featuring Ear to Ear, Black Moor, BIIPIIGWAN and ourselves. Ear to Ear start the night off with their very spastic, groovy and progressive metal. definitely a great way to start the night off. next up is Black Moor, who never seem to disappoint with their classic blend of thrash and furious leads. BIIPIIGWAN heads up next and shows Halifax what a monster they all are They seriously destroyed Gus’s.
We get up with our new band name “secret guest” and Halifax doesn’t disappoint in the pit. after all was said and done we said goodbye to our new brothers in BIIPIIGWAN, and we all head home and got to bed.
All in all besides the van troubles and 2 missed shows its safe to say that the bogus journey was a total success and we look forward to hitting the road again.
We arrived in Moncton early and were lucky enough to spend some relaxing time with our friend Don from The Motorleague and also enjoy a delicious scoff of tasty BBQ food.
Although we’ve played Moncton many times before this was out first time at the infamous Esquire Tavern which back in the day was a staple in Moncton scene (helping launch such bands as monoxides, ditch pigs and many others) as we loaded we were greeted by a sign which read “if your wife calls and you’re not here, you tell her!” which was only surpassed by their coin operated claw machine which had such prizes as teddy bears, dildos and porno DVDs…
one thing was certain, it was going to be a wild night!
After selling some merch to some drunken local VLT players it was time for the show to begin and once Konjurer took the stage the beers begin pour faster as the crowd was whipped into a thrash-fuelled frenzy! (Leaving the floor covered in a layer of spilled beer) Biipiigwan followed up with another crushing performance and we were left to close out the night with a set of mostly our new album “Words” and ‘The Workhorse Walks Alone’ to end the eve. Overall a great show! (We will be playing in Moncton once again on April 26th with 3 Inches of Blood, Goatwhore and Konjurer -> Info Here)
The previous night, Keith and Kevin did their tour of duty for sleeping in the van. Their curiosity about why the hell it seemed to be getting so cold in there as the night progressed was settled when the sun came up and revealed the dirty bastard snowstorm that had begun.
Knowing full well our bastard-bus aka Van Helsing was going to be trouble, we made short work of piling in and getting on the road. Much to our surprise we escaped traffic and weather unscathed, and arrived in Fredericton for an off night due to a venue cancellation but were luckily treated to glorious hospitality by some longtime friends Amy & Charles (aka our band parents)
The next day we made the quick trip to Saint John, NB. Load in was delayed by a rager of a dart tournament in the Pub Down Under. Matt from Biipiigwaan tried to impress the locals with his “I Love My Darts” baseball cap, but to no avail.
The show started off with local tech-death metallers Patient Zero which was equal parts over the top guitar battling and hilarious stage banter.
Biipiigwaan naturally rustled the jimmies of the buildings’ very foundation.
For our set we decided to try playing our new record start to finish to get some needed practice on the rest of the tunes. We played them no problem but our bodies were left worse for the wear, and we could be visibly seen dragging ass and sweating like dart champions in the battle for the title of dart-bastard of the universe.
Regardless we survived and rested our aging bones for Moncton.
The drive to Quebec City was supposed to be easy sailing, but quickly proved (for me the driver, aka Kevin) to be a goddamned nightmare made flesh.
The old sloppy jalopy, aka Vanny Tanner, aka Vanny Glover, decided it was going to start stalling out in major intersections. For those of you unfamiliar with our French neighbors (at the risk of generalizing) they can be known for being unforgiving in traffic situations.
After a flurry of French swearing and creative had signals, we finally got the bastard parked and were able to enjoy some beers and a sit down dinner.
The venue, L’Agitee, was a killer room. Pro sound an lights and a large stage left us exited to play and enjoy some easy changeovers. More notable parts of the venue included borderline life size portraits of Immortal, and a massive piece featuring the members of Deicide and and badass imagery. We were in metal town and feeling good about it.
The show experience was as awesome as expected, and we were treated great by the locals (check out Jupiter’s Red Eye, cool progressive death metal and stand up fellas)
A warm floor and some morning scrambies rounded out our time and we left with a smile on our faces…then the snow storm started. But that’s another story…
We started the day on a high, feeling confident the van troubles were behind us.
The drive started leisurely and chow time eventually rolled around. After a much needed hot sandwich injection, we couldn’t help but notice our entire exhaust was sitting about a half inch from the ground.
Resident DIY mechanic Bobby Webb was able to patch us up with some conveniently placed coat hangers, and a side of brute force and ignorance.
After the roadside repairs and the acquisition of cheap Quebec gas station beers, we rolled into Sherbrooke.
The venue was fantastic, nice floor space as well a a 2nd floor balcony. The space was small and filled up quick. Crust punk experts Systematik from Vancouver started the show off right with ferocious delivery, we all highly recommend you check these cats out.
Out set was smooth and fun, aside from sweating like 5 whores in church.
Our boys in Biipiigwan owned the night however. They had some frustration from the previous night’s blusterfuck that left their set cut short, and they made sure everyone around them knew just how intense they can be. It was an awesome night to see these doom monsters.
Next stop, Quebec city, provided the van patch job holds.
